Goblin Cock: Bagged and Boarded

It’s somewhat interesting that given his successes, Pinback mastermind Rob Crowe is still in need of further musical outlets. With last year’s Summer in Abaddon bringing the band’s popularity to new heights, it was hard to imagine a project like Goblin Cock in Crowe’s immediate future.

When taking in his past musical achievements, however, it is not surprising that Crowe would take a stab at stoner rock sooner or later. What may surprise people is how uninspired the finished product turned out to be.

Musically, at best, it’s the dry riffage of Electric Wizard with Queens of the Stone Age pop sensibilities coming mostly from Crowe’s vocal arrangements, while “Striped Tiger Snaps” ventures into Rob Zombie territory.

“Stumped” (wisely provided for download on the label’s website) and “Green Machine” are the standout tracks that bookend the fairly forgettable first half of Bagged and Boarded, and the album doesn’t pick up again until “Ichiro’s Dilemma,” when a palpable High on Fire influence carries the album through its best tracks and into its mediocre closing number.

One thing this lacks is the colossal production, the thud it needs to be at least given the benefit of the doubt. Ultimately, there is little to enjoy in Bagged and Boarded. It doesn’t groove, and it isn’t technically praiseworthy. It fails to faithfully capture any of the elements that make stoner or “doom” metal worthwhile.

And while Rob Crowe’s vocals do the trick on occasion, it ultimately falls short of where the masses probably hoped it would: the synthesis of Crowe’s ability to write some damn fine melodies in a stoner rock context. Is this Rob Crowe’s Probot? Let’s hope that in at least one respect it is: it was only one album.

- Tom Youth
Goblin Cock (Absolutely Kosher)